He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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