i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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