dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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