therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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