There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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