Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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