oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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