Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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