A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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