This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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