I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So much Jack, so little girl.
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