you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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