I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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