I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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