What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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