were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize