ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize