the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize