we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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