I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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