how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize