I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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