Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize