Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize