You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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