I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
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While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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