Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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