Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
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Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
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Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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