Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There r osticjed everywhere
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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