It's Friday. Sex?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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