he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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