Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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