He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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