It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize