we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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