I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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