I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize