Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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