I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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