i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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