i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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