Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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