I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize