i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize