my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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