Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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