Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize