Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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