I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize