and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize